An Investor Doubted Me and My Business Because I’m a Working Dad — Here’s Why You Don’t Have to Sacrifice Work or Your Family. | Entrepreneur

I never believed in the idea of ​​a silicone valley that you need to work 24/7 and sacrifice everyone to build a successful company. For me, creating a business and raising a family go hand in hand. These contrasting views may be best illustrated by a personal joke.

A long time ago, when the former business partner and I raised our round for the company we founded, I found that I was sitting with some investors from the Silicon Valley. I knew that they would not have left to meet with us if they did not take the investment quite seriously – they were not one of those people who spent time and money on what they did not believe in.

My wife Rachel and I recently found out that Rachel was pregnant with twins. The pregnancy was not planned, which meant that we left from thinking that we would have zero more children to find that we actually had two at once in a blink of an eye. I was going to become a proud father not four, but six very energetic daughters.

To break ice, my co -founder shared the aforementioned with our potential investors. In most cases, the assignment of a common small conversation with the story of unexpected twins, at least, is interesting. But investors were not surprised.

The senior investor – I will never forget his name, although I will not mention it here – was as serious as a heart attack. He looked directly at me and said: “You know, it’s hard for me to perceive such guys like you seriously. Why do you have a family when you have to devote your whole life to manage your business? ”

Without skipping for a second, I replied: “This is interesting – I always tried my best to understand how guys, how YouWhat is the point of making money if you have no one with whom it enjoys? Where is the satisfaction to be a lonely, 45-year-old guy living in a Penthouse on university Avenue in Palo-Alto? Was it not felt empty and old after a while? For me, my work is filled with the goal; I can go home and play with a bunch of charming little children who love me. ”

I said this in a calm, philosophical way, as if I simply shared an alternative point of view instead of opposing an insult. Meanwhile, my co-founder was devastated that he raised all this, the meeting was as good as now.

But you know what? Secondly, these words came out of the lips of the senior investor, I knew that I did not want his money. The family means too much in order to cooperate with someone, who could fire it so much.

Related: An open letter from the entrepreneur’s dad for his children on how to succeed

Family and business

Family and business are not mutually exclusive, but let’s be realistic. The business of business is very difficult, stress and unpredictable. There will certainly be the times when you have to feed failures, by the visible, due to the time with those whom you love the most.

The problem begins when obstacles and opportunities are considered as marathons, and not as sprints. Each entrepreneur faces a sprint at one time or another – something leaves the rails, or there is an opportunity that you want to benefit, so you spend more time at work than you usually want.

The marathon, on the other hand, is what happens when you work around the clock, just to facilitate the inevitable fears of entrepreneurship. You tell yourself that you have to work around the clock, because it makes you feel better – “If I work, I can’t fail.”

Do not be mistaken, this is a lie. Like all the lie, this will ultimately hurt you temporarily, no matter how well it makes you feel.

Related: you do not need to sacrifice your family to be an entrepreneur. Here’s how to save 500 hours a year.

The victim against the awards

This is a gloomy picture: you planted on the thirteenth day and return home at seven or eight to find that you missed dinner, the children are already in bed, and your partner is angry that you again chose work on your family. In this case, you do not remove the stress of entrepreneurship as much as adding to it is unbearable. You meaninglessly exhaust yourself, avoiding your greatest resource for inspiration and renewal.

My general empirical rule for balancing family and work throughout my career was to take advantage of travel. When I have no city, I work constantly. I put five days of work for three. When I am in the city, I am always at home for six or sixty. When I am at home, I am always present with my children, present with Rachel. Only when everyone is sleeping, I crush additional work hours, if necessary.

I can’t imagine to try to release the same clock and distract the fact that you feel like a loser, because you again lack dinner. This is the same number of hours, regardless of why not go home, take a break, cleanse your head, invest at the target out of work, and then return to this work, as soon as you fulfilled your obligations as a parent and partner?

To begin with, he reloads your batteries. Brain Science taught us that you have a limited amount of time every day to perform at the highest level. After a certain number of hours, a decrease in the return on the energy that you spend compared to the quality of the results is observed.

Believe me – when you feel good, as a spouse, father or mother, it is like a picture of pure energy. Place additional hours after you confirmed your love for your family will become a much more productive experience.

In fact, there is only one rule when it comes to spending time with the family: to be present, to attend, to attend. This is not about pretending to be there when your mind is still conceived in the office. To achieve the balance between work and family, you must put your phone, close your computer and fully give yourself.